I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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