4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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