i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
