Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
MIDGETS
????
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
