I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
