There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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