I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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