nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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