Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize