Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
