"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize