omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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