evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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