Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize