just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
