Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
where are my eyebrows?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
