Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
