Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Randomize
