problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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