I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
