Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
