Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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