You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
