oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
