Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you made out with another girl for some wings
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
