You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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