woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
