Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
