so explain again why im purple
no
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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