A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Randomize
