these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
no you cant smoke seaweed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize