they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
