smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
