I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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