every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
