I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I am mentally ready for anal.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
