10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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