turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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