They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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