Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He better not be in your backpack
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
