What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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