I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
