I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
