We're facebook friends in real life
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
