i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She even gives head with a lisp.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
