Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
