I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
