now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
