So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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