they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize