Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
