i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Randomize
