GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize