turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
