I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
