At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
