So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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