i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
