Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
