I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
