I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
