I just made out with a guy for $7.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize