Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
