I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
