just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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