If i come over, it means nothing
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
