He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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