i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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