Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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