we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
