Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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