32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize