soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
