i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
