physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
