there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
