Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
