life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
