how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
