my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize