I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
