my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
