C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
