Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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