420 ftw
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Randomize
