And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
